So I Married An Axe Murderer (18 WAVs Found)
maam-aboutpam.wav
Anthony LaPaglia as Tony Giardino … “What about Pam?
Mike Myers as Charlie Mackenzie … “She smelled like soup.”
Length
00:06
Filesize
63k
maam-axe-head.wav
Mike Myers as Stuart Mackenzie (Charlie’s father) … “William! Move your head! Look at the size of that boy’s head!”
Tony … “Shhhh!”
Stewart … “I’m not kidding, that’s like an orange on a toothpick!”
Tony … “Shh! You’re going to give the kid a complex.”
Stewart … “Well, that’s a huge noggin! That’s a virtual planetoid! Has its own weather system! Head! Move!”
Length
00:20
Filesize
210k
maam-boogie.wav
Charlie … “I like the nightlife….I like to boogie.”
Length
00:03
Filesize
34k
maam-excuseme.wav
Charlie … “Excuse me, miss? There seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered the *large* cappuccino … HELLO!”
Length
00:08
Filesize
85k
maam-filly.wav
Stewart … “I like this one, Charlie. She’s quite a filly.”
Length
00:03
Filesize
36k
maam-followme.wav
Phil Hartman as John Johnson ‘Vicky’ … “Hello everyone, I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers here at Alcatraz were at one time guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky. Will you please follow me.”
Length
00:14
Filesize
150k
maam-hatedcol.wav
Stewart … “Oh, I hated the colonel, with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face…Oh, you’re going to buy my chicken! Ooooh!”
Length
00:10
Filesize
106k
maam-insntive.wav
Michael Richards as Obit Writer … “Oh, ho, yes, yes! I’m insensitive! I’m a very insensitive man! Stop your jobs! Look at the insensitive man! That’s what they’re paying you for!”
Length
00:08
Filesize
88k
maam-justnakd.wav
Charlie … “I was just naked just then … very nude.”
Length
00:04
Filesize
40k
maam-marryme.wav
Charlie … “Harriet…marry me.”
Nancy Travis as Harriet Michaels … “No.”
Charlie … “Please??”
Length
00:12
Filesize
127k
maam-martarts.wav
Charlie … “You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it’s called fukkyew!”
Length
00:04
Filesize
41k
maam-pantsnow.wav
Stewart … “Head! Pants! NOW!”
Length
00:02
Filesize
21k
maam-papernow.wav
Stewart … “Head! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can! Haulin’ that gargantuan cranium about! I’m not kidding, that boy’s head’s like Sputnik! Spherical, but quick pointy in parts. Well, that was off sides, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow!”
Length
00:23
Filesize
250k
maam-piperdwn.wav
Stewart … “We have a piper down! I repeat, a piper is down.”
Length
00:04
Filesize
46k
maam-shutit.wav
Stewart … “Mae! Shut it!”
Length
00:02
Filesize
20k
maam-spndnite.wav
Charlie … “Maybe it is late. You know, I’ll be honest with you. I had a really great time tonight, and uh, I’d really love to kiss you, but I think that if I kiss you, we’ll end up kissing on the couch, and if we end up kissing on the couch, then chances are we’ll kiss in the bedroom, then if we kiss in the bedroom, then you know, that’s the part that I always rush into and I just don’t think it’s a good idea to rush into spending the night together.”
Harriet … “I want to spend the night together.”
Charlie … “I have no problem with that.”
Length
00:32
Filesize
341k
maam-twowords.wav
Tony … “Two words…therapy.”
Length
00:02
Filesize
23k
maam-window.wav
Charlie … “Carry it hard harded harvenger of haggets. Beautiful bemus-ed, belacose butcher, untrusting, unknowing, unlove-ed. He wants you back he screams into the night air like a firmean going into a window that has no fire… except the passion of his heart. I am lonely. It’s really hard. This poem sucks!”
Length
00:55
Filesize
588k
