Office Space Sound Clips

Office Space is a 90s American comedy film written and directed by Mike Judge. It satirizes the everyday work life of a typical mid-to-late-1990s software company, focusing on a handful of individuals fed up with their jobs. It stars Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Cole, Stephen Root, David Herman, Ajay Naidu, and Diedrich Bader.[5] Office Space was shot in Dallas and Austin, Texas. It is based on Judge’s Milton cartoon series and was his first foray into live-action filmmaking and his second full-length motion picture release, following Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. His 2009 film Extract is also set in an office and was meant to be a companion piece to Office Space. The film’s sympathetic depiction of ordinary information technology workers garnered a cult following within that field, but it also addresses themes familiar to white-collar employees and the workforce in general. It was a box office disappointment, making $12.2 million against a $10 million production budget. But after repeated airings on Comedy Central, it sold well on home video, and has become a cult film. Several aspects of the film have become popular Internet memes. A scene where the three main characters systematically destroy a dysfunctional printer after being laid off has been widely parodied, by Family Guy, Ted Cruz’s presidential campaign, and many amateurs. Swingline introduced a red stapler to its product line after the Milton character used one painted that color in the film.

Download Office Space WAV Sample Pack

Here’s a list of quotables included in the pack:

Ron Livingston as Peter Gibbons … “What would you do if you had a million dollars?”
Diedrich Bader as Lawrence … “I’ll tell you what I’d do man … two chicks at the same time, man.”

Jennifer Aniston as Joanna … “If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair like your pretty boy over there Brian, why don’t you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?”

Peter … “What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?”

Lawyer … “Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. No, minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is, kick someone’s ass the first day, or become someone’s bitch. Then everything will be alright.”

Peter … “When you come in on Monday and you’re not feeling real well, does anyone say to you, “Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?”
Lawrence … “Shit, no man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked saying something like that, man.”

John C. McGinley as Bob Slydell … “We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.”

Bob Slidell … “Are you any relation to the pop singer?”
David Herman (I) as Michael Bolton … “Naw, it’s just a coincidence.”
Bob Slidell … “Because I’ll be honest with you! I love his music! I do! I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’.”

Michael … “You’re working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there’d be no janitors, cause no one would clean shit up, if they had a million dollars.”

Greg Pitts (II) as Drew … “Give her a ride on the ol’ bone roller coaster! AAAAAAAAAAH! Hah!”

Peter … “Shit, we should be so lucky. Do you know that they have conjugal visits there?”
Ajay Naidu as Samir … “Really?”
Peter … “Yes.”
Michael … “Shit, I’m a free man and I haven’t had a conjugal visit in six months.”

Richard Riehle as Tom Smykowski … “You have to interview with this consultant. They call them efficiency experts … but what you’re REALLY doing is interviewing for your own job!

Lawrence … “Hey Peter!”
Peter … “Yeah?”
Lawrence … “Watch out for your cornhole, bud.”
Peter … “Okay, Lawrence.”

Steve … “Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack, but now I’m off and trying to stay clean.”
Peter … “Ok.
Steve … “That is why I’m selling magazine subscriptions.”
Peter … “No.”
Steve … “And I was hoping that you could help me out …”
Michael … “Wait, wait. You used to be addicted to crack?
Steve … “Yeah, um…”

Samir cusses up a storm while sitting in traffic

Bob Slidell … “What.. what would you say… you do here?”
Tom … “Look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don’t have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!”

Gary Cole (I) as Bill Lumbergh … “If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that would be great.”

Peter … “This isn’t so bad, huh? Makin’ bucks… gettin’ excercise… working outside?”
Lawrence … “Fuckin’ A.”
Peter … “Fuckin’ A.”

Michael … “Yeah, well, at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.”
Samir … “You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.”
Michael … “There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.”
Samir … “Well, why don’t you just go by Mike instead of Michael?.”
Michael … “No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks!”

Peter … “I think that the guy might actually be able to help. I mean, he did help Anne lose weight.”
Samir … “Peter, she’s anorexic.”
Peter … “Yeah, I know. They guy’s really good.”


Gary Cole (I) as Bill Lumbergh … “Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Peter … “Dammit, Lawrence! Can’t you just pretend like we can’t hear each other through the walls?”

Peter … “(Phone rings) Peter Gibbons. Yes… I have the memo.”

Peter … “What if we’re still doing this when we’re 50?”
Samir … “It would be nice to have that kind of job security.”

Stephen Root as Milton Waddams … “Excuse me? (Door closes) Well, okay, but… That’s the last straw… ”

Milton … “Well… I… I told Bill that if Sandra’s going to listen to her headphones while she’s filing, then I should be able to listen to the radio while I’m collating.”
Peter … “Uh huh.”
Milton … “So I don’t see why I should …”
Peter … “OK.
Milton … ” … have to turn down the radio.”
Peter … “Yeah, alright.”
Milton … “I enjoy listening to my radio at a reasonable volume.”
Peter … “Thanks… Milton.”

Peter … “I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are! We’re looking up money laundering in a dictionary!”

Michael … “You know what I can’t figure out? How is it that all these stupid neanderthal mafia guys can be so good at crime, and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it.”
Samir … “We’re new to it though.”

Peter … “You’re a software engineer?”
Steve … “Yep.”
Samir … “Things must be very rough for you.”
Steve … “Actually man, I make more money selling magazine subscriptions than I EVER did at Initrode.”

Paul Willson (I) as Bob Porter … “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”
Peter … “I wouldn’t say I’ve been ‘missing’ it Bob.”

Lumbergh … “Mmmkay?”

Natalie Denning (I) as Initech Employee … “Uh-oh! Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!”

Kinna McInroe as Nina … “Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking! Just a moment!” (Repeats 3x)

Milton … “Excuse me, Senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a Mai Tai and they brought me a Pina Colada? And I said ‘No salt’ NO SALT for the Margarita, but it had salt on it.”
Rupert Reyes as Mexican Waiter … “Lo siento mucho, Senor… gringo.”
Milton … “Lo siento, but I won’t be leaving a tip! Cuz I could, I could shut this whole resort down! Sir? I could take my travelers checks to a competing resort! I could write a letter to your board of tourism and I could have this place condemned! I could put… I could put strychnine in the guacamole! There was salt on the glass… BIG grains of salt!”

Michael … “Thing’s lucky I’m not armed.”
Samir … “(Pulls paper out of the printer) Piece of shit!”

Peter … “We don’t have a lot of time on this earth! We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day… filling out useless forms… and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.”
Michael … “I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton’s music.”
Peter … “Oh that is not right, Michael.”

Greg Pitts (II) as Drew … “I’m thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. Things go well, I might be showin’ her my O-face. Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what I’m talkin’ about … Oh!”


Michael … “PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?”

Samir … “(Pulls paper out of printer) Piece of shit!”

Michael … “We get caught laundering money, we’re not going to white collar resort prison. No, no, no. We’re going to Federal ‘Pound me in the Ass’ prison!”

Lumbergh … “Ahhhh, we have sort of a problem here.”

Tom … “Do you know there are people in this world that don’t have to put up with all this shit?”

Michael’s rap song.

Drew … “Alright Peter! Oooh-Oooh! Hahaha… Right on!!”

Lumbergh … “Did you see the memo about this?”


Milton … “I believe you have my stapler?”

Michael … “It’s pretty brilliant. What it does is every time there’s a bank transaction where interest is computed, you know, thousands a day? The computer ends up with these fractions of a cent, which it usually rounds off? What this does is takes those little remainders and puts them into an account.”
Peter … “This sounds familiar.”
Michael … “Yeah, they did it in Superman 3.”
Peter … “Right.”
Michael … “Underrated movie, actually.”

Lawrence … “Oh, I’m sorry man! Look, I-I-You know, I’m talking out of my ass.”

Milton … “Well, I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume.”

Todd Duffey as Brian the waiter … “Hey! Look who’s back!”

Lumbergh … “Yeahhh.”

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