sthprk-adams.wav
American TV Anchor … “But, Mr. Minister, it isn’t like this film is the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. Let us not forget Bryan Adams.”
Canadian Film Minister … “Now, now, the Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!”

Length
00:09
Filesize
184k

sthprk-asale.wav
Kyle’s Mom … “Al, tonight is a very special night! Do you know why?”
Big Gay Al … “Oooh! They’re having a sale at Merv’s?!”

Length
00:07
Filesize
150k

sthprk-asleep.wav
Terrence … “Oh Philip! This is worse than the night I fell asleep, and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture!”
Philip … “I know, Terrence. I know.”

Length
00:06
Filesize
123k

sthprk-candy.wav
Kyle … “Let me have some candy, Cartman!”
Cartman … “Oh, let’s see … uh … Nope, I don’t have any Jewish candy!”
Kyle … “Like you need all that chocolate, fat boy!”

Length
00:06
Filesize
133k

sthprk-comeup.wav
Philip … “Say, Ters! What did the Spanish priest say to the Uranian Gynecologist?”
Terrence … “I don’t know, Philip! What?”
{Philip farts and they both laugh}
Stan … “Where do they come up with this stuff?!”

Length
00:10
Filesize
209k

sthprk-cryabout.wav
U.S. Ambassador … “Uh, could you tell us again, what your argument is all a-bout?”
Canadian Film Minister … “This is not a-boot diplomacy! This is a-boot dignity! This is a-boot respect! This is a-boot realizing … “
{Everyone in the room is laughing at them}
Canadian Ambassador … “You guys are dicks! Release Terrence and Philip, or we WILL give you something to cry a-boot!!”
{Crowd laughs even MORE}

Length
00:19
Filesize
401k

sthprk-darkies.wav
Army General … “….the all important, first attack wave, which we will call ‘Operation Human Shield'”
Chef … “Hey, wait a minute!”
Army General … “Now keep in mind, Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses! Battalion 14? Right, you are ‘Operation Get Behind the Darkies!’ You will follow Batallion 5 here and try not to get killed for God’s sake!”

Length
00:18
Filesize
385k

sthprk-dig.wav
The Mole … “We have to dig from here, so as not to be seen! Come on bitches!”

Length
00:03
Filesize
55k

sthprk-findit.wav
Stan … “Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?”
Chef … “Oh, that’s easy! You just gotta find the clitoris!”
Stan … “Huh?”
Chef … “Whoops!!”
Stan … “What does that mean? Find the clitoris?”
Chef … “Uh….uh…forget I said anything!!”

Length
00:10
Filesize
223k

sthprk-fkwin98.wav
Army General … “FUCKING WINDOWS 98!!!”

Length
00:02
Filesize
32k

sthprk-foundit.wav
Stan … “What….are you?”
The Clitoris … “I am the clitoris!”
Stan … “The CLITORIS!? I did it! I found the clitoris!”

Length
00:06
Filesize
134k

sthprk-getclose.wav
Satan … “Is sex the only thing that matters to you?”
Saddam Hussein … “I love you!”
Satan … “I want to believe that.”
Saddam Hussein … “So what do you say we shut off that light and get close, huh?”

Length
00:10
Filesize
207k

sthprk-griping.wav
Cartman … “Shut off the power, Cartman! This is very important, Cartman!”

Length
00:04
Filesize
84k

sthprk-heychef.wav
Chef … “Hello there, children!”
The kids … “Hey Chef!”

Length
00:02
Filesize
51k

sthprk-hiphop.wav
Chef … “You ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation?”
Army General … “Oh, I don’t listen to hip hop!!”

Length
00:04
Filesize
83k

sthprk-imsuper.wav
Big Gay Al sings part of “I’m Super!”

Length
00:15
Filesize
328k

sthprk-itsevil.wav
Canadian Film Minister … “The United States has graphic violence on television all the time! We can’t believe that a movie with some foul language would piss you off so much!”
Stan’s Mom … “BECAUSE IT’S EVIL!!”
Canadian Film Minister … “CAN I FINISH?! PLEASE, CAN I FINISH? Ok, I’m finished.”

Length
00:10
Filesize
220k

sthprk-joinarmy.wav
TV Announcer … “…Of course, the only way to SEE the USO show is to sign up for the Army! So join the Army and KILL SOME CANADIAN SCUM as we continue … THE MARCH OF WAR!!”

Length
00:11
Filesize
231k

sthprk-kidfdup.wav
Stan … “Damn, dude, that kid is fucked up!”

Length
00:01
Filesize
27k

sthprk-litefart.wav
Terrence … “Want to see the northern lights?”
{Strikes a match and farts and they both Laugh}
Philip … “Ah-hahaha! You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart! Ah-hahaha!”

Length
00:08
Filesize
165k

sthprk-mycrank.wav
Satan … “It has come to be! The four horsemen are drawing nigh! The time of prophecy is upon us!”
Saddam Hussein … “I love it when you get all Biblical, Satan! You know exactly how to turn my crank!”
Satan … “No, I’m being serious!”

Length
00:12
Filesize
267k

sthprk-packing.wav
Saddam Hussein … “Hey, you better get packing bitch! We have to go! We’re running out of time!”

Length
00:03
Filesize
69k

sthprk-period.wav
Mr. Garrison … “Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.”
Gregory … “Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement.
Mr. Garrison: Well, I’m sorry, Wendy. But I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”

Length
00:12
Filesize
265k

sthprk-risking.wav
Gregory … “Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow, we will all be risking our lives … for freedom.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
85k

sthprk-shore.wav
Mr. Garrison … “Oh boy, I can’ t wait for our first shore leave so I can get me some fuckin’poontang!”

Length
00:06
Filesize
119k

sthprk-shtfaced.wav
Philip … “Oh, you shitfaced cockmaster!”
All the kids … “WOW!”

Length
00:03
Filesize
60k

sthprk-spears.wav
Babysitter … “Now you all just sit there and keep your mouths shut, while I go listen to my Britney Spears records!”

Length
00:06
Filesize
130k

sthprk-suckball.wav
Mr. Garrison … “How would you like to go see the school counselor?”
Cartman … “How would YOU like to go suck my balls?”
Mr. Garrison … “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
Cartman … “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, actually, what I said was {grabs a megaphone and talks out of it} HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?”
Stan … “Holy shit, dude … “

Length
00:18
Filesize
388k

sthprk-takerisk.wav
The Mole … “You realize that by doing this, we could be grounded for two, perhaps even three weeks?”
Kyle … “We’re willing to take that risk!”

Length
00:05
Filesize
107k

sthprk-takeseat.wav
Mr. Garrison … “Okay children, lets take our seats! We have a lot to learn today!”

Length
00:04
Filesize
96k

sthprk-takeweeks.wav
Kyle’s Mom … “It is going to take us weeks to erase the damage this film has done to our children!”

Length
00:05
Filesize
102k

sthprk-thinkdik.wav
Stan … “Hey Mole, you know where the clitoris is?”
The Mole … “Zee what?”
Stan … “The clitoris! I have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me!”
The Mole … “HEY! You need to stop thinking with your dick! You have to be on your toes! Because I am NOT going to be grounded again! Not for you! Not for ANYBODY!”

Length
00:12
Filesize
259k

sthprk-ufailed.wav
Gregory … “I see you failed in your mission. I should not have sent a boy to do a man’s job.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
63k

sthprk-vchip.wav
Cartman … “Hey dudes … “
Kyle … “What’s the matter, Cartman?”
Cartman … “It’s this V-chip. I hate it, I can’t say any dirty words!”
Kyle … “Really? So you can’t say fuck?”
Cartman … “No.”
Kyle … “And you can’t say shit?”
Cartman … “Nope.”
Kyle … “So you can’t say, “I’m Eric Cartman, the fattest fucking piece of shit in the world?”
Cartman … “Fuck you! (V-chip shocks him) Aaaaaaaagh!”
Kyle … “Haha! Sweet!”

Length
00:15
Filesize
326k

sthprk-warwow.wav
Winona Ryder … “What you’re doing for our country is so cool! I mean, war man! Wow. War … you know? Wow.”

Length
00:09
Filesize
201k

sthprk-wherefind.wav
Stan … “You guys!….Do you know where I can find the clitoris?”d
Kyle … “The what?”
Cartman … “What? Is that like finding Jesus or something?”

Length
00:05
Filesize
105k

sthprk-win98.wav
Army General … “You told us that Windows 98 would be faster and more efficient with better access to the Internet!”
Bill Gates … “It IS faster! Over five million … “
{General Shoots Him}

Length
00:10
Filesize
219k