tsam-7minabs.wav
Hitchhiker … “You heard of this thing the 8-minute abs?”
Ted … “Yes, 8 minute ads, sure, the exercise video.”
Hitchhiker … “Well this is going to BLOW that right outta the water, listen to this … SEVEN minute abs.”

Length
00:14
Filesize
154k

tsam-7minutes.wav
Hitchhiker … “I’m only waiting seven minutes, total.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
37k

tsam-alittle.wav
Magda … “Oh my god!… He’s got him wrapped up like a little baby.”
Pat … “He was a little chilly.”

Length
00:12
Filesize
130k

tsam-allgods.wav
Pat … “I’ll be honest with you … “

Length
00:09
Filesize
25k

tsam-awful.wav
Pat … “How many is this?”
Tucker … “Four.”
Pat … “Four? That seems like an awful lot of speed to give one little pooch.”

Length
00:08
Filesize
88k

tsam-awhitehd.wav
Dom … “You ever had a whitehead on your eyeball Mary?”

Length
00:04
Filesize
39k

tsam-brett.wav
Pat … “What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?”
Brett Favre … “I’m in town to play the dolphins you dumbass.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
44k

tsam-budor.wav
Mary … “Pat do you want a Budweiser or a Hiney?”
Pat … “Yeayea whatever. Cmon puffer! Stay away from the light!”
Mary … “Ok, I’ll just get you a regular.”

Length
00:14
Filesize
149k

tsam-canof.wav
Mary’s Dad … “Don’t make me have to open a can of whoop ass on you, hear?”

Length
00:02
Filesize
17k

tsam-choke.wav
Dom … “You choke the chicken.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
9k

tsam-closing.wav
Ted … “He never even looked her up down there. He was there closing his deal with the Rice-A-Roni people the whole time!”

Length
00:05
Filesize
52k

tsam-fellin.wav
Ted … “When I was 16 years old, I fell in love.”

Length
00:02
Filesize
22k

tsam-flog.wav
Dom … “Oh my god.. he doesn’t flog the dolphin before going out on a date. Are you crazy? That’s like going out there with a loaded gun.”

Length
00:08
Filesize
87k

tsam-frankor.wav
Mary’s Mom … “What exactly are we looking at here?”
Ted … “What do you mean”
Mary’s Mom … “Is it the .. umm.. or the .. umm..”
Mary’s Dad … “Is it the frank or the beans?”

Length
00:12
Filesize
132k

tsam-franks.wav
Warren … “Franks and beans! Franks and beans!”

Length
00:04
Filesize
43k

tsam-gota.wav
Policeman … “It’s just like pulling off a band-aid. A one, and a two, and a … “
Paramedic … “We got a bleeder!”

Length
00:11
Filesize
122k

tsam-hairgel.wav
Mary … “What is that? On your ear? No, on your left ear. Is that hair gel?”

Length
00:09
Filesize
99k

tsam-hewas.wav
Warren … “He was masterbauting!”

Length
00:02
Filesize
22k

tsam-howthe.wav
Fireman … “How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top?”

Length
00:02
Filesize
22k

tsam-idont.wav
Pat … “What do you think your sh*t don’t stink?”
Ted … “No, I dont, think, umm, it does, I don’t care.”

Length
00:05
Filesize
59k

tsam-imanine.wav
Ted … “What about Brett Favre?”
Mary … “What did I tell you the first time we met? I’m a niners fan.”

Length
00:08
Filesize
85k

tsam-inlove.wav
Ted … “Umm look, we’re all in love with Mary.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
40k

tsam-itchy.wav
Hitchhiker … “Man, your car seats are making me itchy man. What are these made out of, cactus?”

Length
00:05
Filesize
52k

tsam-little.wav
Dom … “Hey uh Brett what are the chances I could get your autograph on this pump. Something nice for the wife and kids.”
Mary … “What?”
Dom … “Oh, shutup, cocktease.”

Length
00:09
Filesize
93k

tsam-loaded.wav
Ted … “I’ve been going out with a loaded gun!”
Dom … “People get hurt that way.”

Length
00:05
Filesize
53k

tsam-makin.wav
Ted … “Hey… hey.. are you the little guy making all that big noise?”

Length
00:07
Filesize
73k

tsam-meatina.wav
Ted … “You know what I would like to see? I would like to see more meats in a cone.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
38k

tsam-meatison.wav
Mary … “You know I don’t think they have enough meats on sticks.”

Length
00:02
Filesize
26k

tsam-mybase.wav
Warren … “Have you seen my baseball?”

Length
00:02
Filesize
18k

tsam-myreal.wav
Pat … “My real pashion is my hobby”
Mary … “Oh realy, what’s that?”
Pat … “I work with retards.”

Length
00:06
Filesize
62k

tsam-mywien.wav
Warren … “Have you seen my .. weiner?”

Length
00:02
Filesize
23k

tsam-puffer.wav
Pat … “Puffer ball likes it when I rub his belly.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
34k

tsam-pufferpf.wav
Pat … “Puffer doesnt like bad guys does he? Puffer, Puffer?”

Length
00:06
Filesize
68k

tsam-sheknew.wav
Ted … “I couldn’t believe it, she knew my name! Some of my best friends didnt know my name.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
44k

tsam-spank.wav
Dom … “Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
38k

tsam-started.wav
Pat … “You asked me to follow around your girl, and I did. And the truth is, I started to like her.”

Length
00:06
Filesize
65k

tsam-thatbubb.wav
Mary’s Dad … “What’s that bubble there?”
Ted … “Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”
Mary’s Dad … “How did you get the beans above the frank?”
Ted … “I dont know, it’s not like it was a well thought out plan.”

Length
00:10
Filesize
108k

tsam-thebad.wav
Magda … “And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
36k

tsam-togetto.wav
Homeless Man … “I was only boning you to get to Mary.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
33k

tsam-whatkind.wav
Ted … “Ummm .. Mary .. What kind of dog is Puffy?”
{Banging noise coming from bathroom}

Length
00:10
Filesize
105k

tsam-wheres.wav
Mary … “Magda, Magda, Hunny, Where’s Puffy?”
Magda … “Oh, he was being a pest so I put him in the bathroom.”
{Banging noise coming from bathroom}

Length
00:10
Filesize
111k

tsam-yougotta.wav
Mary’s Dad … “Shiela hunny, you gotta come here. You gotta see this.”

Length
00:03
Filesize
36k

tsam-youregon.wav
Ted … “Hey I know this is the Bible Belt and everything, but where I come from, this is not that big of a deal.”
Cop … “You son of a bitch, you’re going to fry.”

Length
00:14
Filesize
149k

tsam-yourewge.wav
Ted … “Woogie? Woogie? You’re Woogie?”
Dom … “Dom Wooganowske.”

Length
00:04
Filesize
39k

tsam-zipped.wav
{Zipping sound followed by screams of Ted}

Length
00:08
Filesize
82k