Chasing Amy (13 WAVs Found)

Jay … “Snoochie boochies, who da fuck talks like that? That is fuckin’ baby talk.”


Holden … “Oh my God. Who are you, Larry fuckin’ Flint? What are you gonna do with all those?”
Banky … “Read the articles, what do you think I’m gonna do them? They’re stroke books, stupid.”
Holden … “You got like 30 books in there, we’re only gonna be gone for two days!”
Banky … “Variety is the spice o’ life, I like a wide selection. Sometimes I’m in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like an air brush, sometimes it’s a spread brown-eye kinda night, sometimes it’s girl on girl time, sometimes a steamy letter will do, sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I like the idea of a chick with a horse.”


Jay … “So why the long face horse? Banky on the rag?”
Holden … “I’m just a, I’m just havin’ a little girl trouble.”
Jay … “Bitch pressin’ charges? I get that alot.”


Silent Bob … “Chasin’ Amy.”
Holden … “What? What did you say?”
Silent Bob … “You’re chasing Amy.”
Jay … “What do you look so shocked for,man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just because he don’t say anything, it’ll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin’ mouth.”
Silent Bob … “Jesus Christ, why don’t you shut-up? Always yap-yap-yappin all th’ time, gimme a fuckin’ headache. I went through somethin’ like what you’re talkin’ about, couple o’ years ago, with this chick named Amy.”
Jay … “When?”
Silent Bob … ” A couple o’ years ago.”
Jay … “Whad’she live in Canada or somethin’? Why don’t I remember this?”
Silent Bob … “Bitch, what you don’t know about me I could just about squeeze into the Grand fuckin’ Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Huh? Bet you didn’t even know that shit, did you?”
Jay … “Just play your fuckin’ story so we can get outta here and smoke this.”
Silent Bob … “So there’s me and Amy, and we’re all inseperable, right, just big-time in love.Then four months down the road the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which, as we all know, is a really dumb move, but, you know how it is, you don’t wanna know but ya just have to know, right? Stupid guy-bullshit. so anyway she starts tellin me about him, how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple o’ years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah…and I’m okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: It seems that a couple of times while they were goin’ out, he brought some people to bed with them. Manage a tro, I believe it’s called. now this just blows my mind, right, I mean I am not used to this sort of thing, I mean I was raised Catholic for God’s sakes.”
Jay … “Same shit head.”
Silent Bob … “Do somethin. So I’m totally wierded out by this right? And I just start blastin’ her, like I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feelin’ so I figure the best way is if I call her a slut right and tell her she was used, I’m, I’m out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I’m like, “What th’ fuck is your problem?”, right? And she’s just all calmly tryin to tell me like it was that time and it was that place, and she doesn’t think she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong, I’m like OH really? That’s when I look her straight in the eye, I tell ‘er it’s over. I walk.”
Jay … “Fuckin A.”
Silent Bob … “No, idiot, it was a mistake.I wasn’t disgusted with her. I was afraid. You know at that moment I felt small, like, like I’d lacked experience, like I’d never be on her level, like I’d never be enough for her, or somthin like that, you know what I’m sayin? But what I did not get was she didn’t care, she wasn’t lookin for that guy anymore, she was, she was lookin for me, for, for the Bob, but ah by the time I’d figured this all out it was too late, man, she’d moved on and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now, But…I pushed her away. So I’ve spent everyday since then chasin Amy. So to speak.
Jay … “Enough of the fuckin melodrama. My advice, forget er dude. There’s just one bitch in the world. One bitch with many faces.”


Banky … “What I tell ya, she just needs the right guy. All every woman really wants be it mother, senator or nun is some serious deep dickin.”


Banky … “All right now see this is a four way road, okay and dead in the center is a crisp new hundred dollar bill. Now at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay you following?
Holden … ‘Yeah.”
Banky … “Good, Over here we have a male affectionate, easy to get along with, non political agenda lesbian. Down here we have a man hating, angry as fuck agenda of rage bitter dike. Over here we got Santa Claus and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?”
Holden … “What is this supposed to prove?”
Banky … “No, I’m serious, this is a serious exercise. It’s like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dike, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?”
Holden … “The man-hating dike.”
Banky … “Good. Why?”
Holden … “I don’t know.”
Banky … “Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!”


Holden … “Can’t do it G, I’m in love.”
Jay … “Ah, there ain’t no such thing, ya gotta boil it down to the essentials. It’s like cube says, “Life ain’t nothin’ but bitches and money.”


Alyssa … “Why are we stopping?”
Holden … “‘Cause I can’t take this.”
Alyssa … “Can’t take what?”
Holden … “I love you.”
Alyssa … “You…love me?”
Holden … “I love you, and not, not in a friendly way although I think we’re great friends, and not in a misplaced affection puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the, the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is, is, is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider but I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore, I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are, . And I know this will probably queer our friendship, no pun intended, but I had to say it. Because I’ve never felt this way before, and I, I don’t care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome. Which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable … shoot-down. And, ya know, , I’ll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there’s a moment of hesitation then that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just, you just, not dismiss that. And try to dwell on it, for just, ten seconds. God. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, ya know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me. Which, while I do appreciate it, I’d never need a painting of at a diner to remind me of.”


Holden … “Very nice. Hey what you do last night?”
Alyssa … “Got laid. And where’s that ah girl you were tellin’ me about?”


Banky … “Since you like chicks right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?”


Waitress … “All right boys, what’ll it be?”
Jay … “Yo Flo, tell Mel to whip me up a toasted bagel with cream cheese, you want one too? Make that two and kiss my grits, noooch.”


Silent Bob … “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Jay … “Knock that shit off!”


Banky … “I mean not for nothin’ but when a chick goes down on me, I let her know where to go, and what the status is. Ya gotta handle it like CNN and the weather channel; constant updates.”


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